I have been thinking a lot lately about my parenting style and evaluating the way I've been doing things with my boys. I really want them to grow up to be responsible, hard working, thoughtful, selfless individuals! I have been trying to instill these values in as many ways as I can come up with. Here are a few:
1. When they are finished with a meal- they are suppose to say, "Thank you for the food Mom and Dad." They are then to take their own plate, bowl or glass to the sink- themselves.
2. Whenever they are trying to decide who gets to "go first" they are suppose to look around the room and see if there are any girls present. Girls get to go first! It's cute to hear one of them say, "Oh, wait, Mom gets to go first- she's a girl!" They're starting to get it!
3. On the days when they just seem unable to get along- I make them serve each other. I send them up to William's room and Quincy has to read William five books before he can come down. They are both smashed into the baby rocker and it seems to force a bond! Problem solved!
4. When it is dinner time, I announce, "Guys, it's dinner time- what does that mean?" They are then to respond, "Mom, what can I do to help?" I think EVERYONE in the family should be involved in the process- not just Mom!
5. They each have jobs around the house. I think this is a HUGE one! Growing up we had paper routes, helped with the day-care, made dinner one night a week as well as did the dishes. Every Saturday we were expected to do "the list" before we could play. Looking back- this was one of the greatest "gifts" my parents could have given me.
I've been reading Child Wise from the children's series of parenting books. I swear by Baby Wise. That was the single greatest piece of advice I was given as a new mom. There is some GREAT insight in this book about the very thing I've been writing about. One quote that I thought was fabulous was "if parent's shape their child's heart and character, they will not have to concentrate as much on reshaping the child's outward behavior."
What things are you doing that have worked in your families?
12 comments:
That is GREAT, Laura! I love that they look for girls in the room. What little gentlemen!
Way to go Laura! Some kids don't have any manners and it really is annoying. So GREAT JOB GIRL!! I love how you have them serve eachother when they aren't getting along. I think I will start having my kids do that.
When we sit down to eat they have to say "Please pass..." and then "thank you". Before they can leave the table they have to ask to be excused.
Yes- those are great things! We need to add those too! I also make them say (when they want a turn to talk and I am in a conversation already) "can I say something, please?"
Great post! I love all your suggestions. I especially like the serving each other one, too. It totally depends on the day with my kids. They can be perfect angels and then perfect opposites on others. Is there a way to help them be on the good side all the time??? :)
My kids are the same way, Julianne! They are angels and then have a tough day the next!
Wow, you are such a good mom, Ty! Maybe you should write a parenting book. I'd certainly buy it :)
I love it! Can we please arrange a marriage between my daughters and your sons?
That sounds GREAT, Denise! Your girls are darling!
Those are some great things you're doing for your boys. I'm certainly going to implement those immediately.
I love it, Laura! I remember prayerfully considering how to instill good values into my girls. And the thought popped into my head, "Teach them to work." So, that's what the goal in this house.
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